Peace in Chaos

You know what one of my favorite things about God is? It's not that he forgives me when I mess up, time, after time, after time, and a few more times (although that is absolutely amazing) and it's not that I know that i'll be with him one day (once again, amazing..I can't wait for that day) but it's his caring and loving compassion that he shows me daily. Not only the care that he alone gives me, but the blessings that he puts on other humans to share to me when I need it most. Today was one of the worst days I could possibly have. Well, not really, but by 6 o'clock my day had went in a straight shoot downwards. This morning I was awaken by my alarm singing "To Make You Feel My Love" Okay, I LOVE that song but this morning, Adele's voice was not charming and it made me mad, I immediately grabbed my phone, shut it off, decided that waking up was not going to happen and went back to bed. 10 minutes later, Adele was back. I decided this time that if I didn't go get in the shower and hurry for school I wasn't going to make it on time, and it's the 2nd day, can't already start this tardy stuff. So I get out of the shower, dry my hair and as soon as I pick up my flat iron, Tyler calls. This wasn't a bad thing at all, I happily answered the phone with an ecstatic "Good morning sunshine" and got in response a "Good morning Beautiful". Now what girl wouldn't smile at that. We talked for a few minutes, then I was like crap I have GOT to hurry. So i did, rushed off to school, now in the most cheerful mood anyone could experience saying Good Morning to every person I passed. The day was great, minus the online class part..gag me with a spoon. I came home, got ready for Junior Miss practice and was gone by 5:45. I get there, and we begin to work on talent. HOLD UP, if you know me..you know I am in no sort or way or any kind of "talented" I mean, I can touch my tongue to my nose..if that counts as talent. I immediately trip because I know i'm going to have to get on stage and do my clog routine..heaven help. So I do it, completely fail. Feel like hiding under a rock and staying there forever. On to the next thing, I head off to soccer practice hoping that I can take my anger from this stress out on a soccer ball or something, just do something to get this off my mind and of course, epic fail again. Everyone was freaking out tonight, I was playing awful, and I knew it. I closed my eyes and began to pray for the team, for myself and for coach to not get absolutely upset with how things were going, mostly everyone was utterly negative and being the optimist I am, I tried to cheer everyone up saying "it's okay" "it happens" "you got this" but it's kind of hard to make others smile, when you've got the biggest look of hate on your face. So after a terrible practice, on my behalf, I come home to vent to mom, thank Jesus she understood and didn't blow me off, because that might have set me off. I came up to my room to try to unwind and chill out a little bit, get on Facebook, tell the world how stressed I am and my WONDERFUL Coach posts, Psalm 46:10 which says "Be still and know that I am God" I don't know how much this verse means to you, but to me it turned my day around..be still and know that I am God. No matter what, God is always watching, guiding, and protecting. He knows your heart more then anyone and loves you despite what is inside of it. I know that the devil had intentions of making me want to rip my hair out today and he tried to defeat me, but I am and will never be defeated because my God is more powerful then any stunt the devil tries to bring me down with. My Lord will always provide and protect..because he is my God.

"Life is rough waters, be sure to have a stable boat"
-KG

Sanctuary

I'm sure you all have heard of the old hymn, "Sanctuary" but have you ever actually listened to the words and taken them into consideration? I hadn't until I heard one of my Y friends, Andrew was singing it constantly on a service trip this summer. I was in one of those deep thinking moods and I overheard him singing it as we were walking into our next project. It caught me completely off guard and made me think about the lyrics..
"Lord prepare me, to be a sanctuary. Pure and holy, tried and true. With thanksgiving, i'll be a living, sanctuary for you" I realized at that moment, that all my life I had been singing that song, over and over and never even understood what I was singing. I began to think about what the song was saying, which is that we should always be a living sanctuary, no matter what circumstance. We should always be bold in Christ and stay pure and holy. Now if you're in your right mind you know that it is nearly impossible to be pure because we all sin a million times a day but because our God is so forgiving, he allows us to be pure when we ask him to forgive us. Thinking about that, still gives me cold chills even after 17 years of knowing that we are always forgiven..still gets to me. Our God is so powerful. This song is entitiling you to be a Sanctuary, a place that is sacred and holy and set aside for worship. Now, we can't always worship like we do in a actual sanctuary everywhere we go, but we can always find a way to worship any where. It doesn't always have to be by singing, or even praying. Doing random acts of kindness and love, compassion and practicing patience are ways to worship God in the most random times. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i'm some holy roller but I do try my hardest to worship the God I love so much, as much as possible, and yes, it's difficult soooo difficult because of the temptations and the busy schedule I have, but the effort you give God is what counts. God doesn't want you to love him with no compassion and just to be doing it because you think that's what's right. God wants you to devote your full heart to him, just like the verse in Revelation 3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Which means that you should not half heartedly love the Lord, or he will reject you and i guess you'll be spit out of his mouth, and who wants that? Loving God is an easy thing because he is so loving in return, but I think the problem we have today with God is the accepting his commands for us because we're so caught up in what the World has become that it's often easy to listen to the voices of others over the voice of God. I guess that's where our selective hearing plays it's role. So I think that's all that's on my mind for the day, now i'm compelled to be singing Sanctuary over and over and over all day..thanks God.

"Life Is Rough waters, Be Sure To Have A Stable Boat"
-KG

I Believe.

Yesterday, I got home from LTC and for all of you non Y junkies that have no idea what that is, it's a leadership training conference that honestly, has nothing to do with leadership. In fact, the word leadership was not mentioned once. But anyways, this years theme was called "This I Believe" which is based off a series of "I believe" essays. If you've never seen the book or read it, it's basically a bunch of different people coming together to write essays about what they believe, and making a book out of it. Very inspirational, I advise you to check it out! At LTC, we were told and encouraged to write our own "This I Believe" essay, although it was a little hard to actually sit down and think of what my believes as an individual were, I in time finally came up with a few believes that I knew were correct for me so I thought I would share them, and as time goes on i'm sure i'll keep adding to my essay until I feel it's complete. So here we go...

I believe that happiness is not a feeling, but a decision, a mind-set, a way of living. Yes, the people around you usually effect your happiness, but you cannot let them change or determine it. You are the writer, the author of your own life, your story. Therefore, your peers do not hold the pen to your journey. I believe to accomplish something you must believe in it, because if you have no confidence in your task, you have no motivation, and without motivation I think we can all agree that it's hard to get anything done. I believe that seeing is believing but also, not seeing is believing. I know it is hard to believe something you cannot see, but that is where faith comes in. If you do not have faith then I believe that all hope is lost, but if you have faith, you can believe and dream anything. "For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I believe that you should never have a destination, but that you should respect, and enjoy the journey. It is often hard to enjoy the journey when you know the destination because you are so consumed and so excited about being there that you cannot see the beauty in the getting there. You should always live in the moment, like the quote "wherever you are, be there" Often times it is so easy to be conformed to the patterns of this crazy world and so consumed with our personal issues that we cannot live in the moment for fear of what our past will make our future. I believe in Heaven, and I believe in Hell. My own personal beliefs make me believe that without God, there is Hell, but in and with him, there is Heaven. I believe however, that you should respect others faith and beliefs because that's what my God calls me to do, to love and respect others like myself. I believe that everyone alive on this Earth has a purpose, and although we may not be revealed that purpose, it is there, waiting to be seen. But we can only embrace it if we open our hearts , our minds, and let it embrace us. I believe that there is no meaningless life, everyone lives for something and eventually, everyone dies for something. No matter how let down you are, how much you say you hate your life, you are here for a reason; be that to preach, to write music, to become an investor, may it be anything, you are on this Earth to affect someone else on this Earth, and to continue the amazing, so humble, gift of life.


"Life is Rough Waters, be sure to have a stable boat"
-KG

One if those blogs where I ramble about the nonsense in my life

So graduation was last week, and although I didn't graduate, a lot of my friends did. Including my best friends. Friday morning before graduation even started I began to think
about how in exactly a year, I'll be the one graduating and I'm definitely not ready. For the past 3 years I've been like oh my gosh I can't wait to graduate but now that the realization is coming close I'm like holy cow, wait a second! I just can't believe how fast these past few years have flown by, how much I've learned and most importantly how much my life has changed and been altered. I was one of those wild child kids my freshmen and sophomore year and it wasn't the easiest of times for me. But at the end of my sophomore year I met someone who I never knew would change my life forever. She taught me that my hurts and hangups and all the junk in my life was nothing at the shadow of the cross. And from that moment on my life has been drastically renewed and changed by God's amazing grace. I'm not saying I'm some perfect person now because I still mess up everyday day of my life. But I don't linger on my sins anymore because I know my Lord has forgiven me and that he still loves me and still has amazing plans for my life. On another note, God Never leaves my side. Random bold statement for this post I know but really, he's showed me that more then ever this past week. A few days ago I was really feeling down about some junk that's happened in my life and the feelings I felt were really dragging me down. I woke up at like 5 in the morning completely sobbing because I felt like I had betrayed God and a few of my friends. When I finally got myself
Together I texted my youth minister Dave (he's never not been by my side to help) and my best friend Nate and just asked them to pray for me because I was having a rough time. Wow. I never knew God could place such amazing people in my life with such amazing hope for my life. Dave texted me the next day with a prayer he had prayed for me and although I didn't
Tell him what was going on, God gave him a prayer that was on point of what I needed. God creates such small miracles that make something hugs. Isn't that amazing? Anyways, last night Nate called me and said that he was still praying and that just makes me rest assured that my father knows my heart and knew what people to place in my life so that I would never be alone in my walk with him, but have people by my side to help and guide me along the way. My prayers and concerns are slowly getting answered and now I rest assured that my life has a plan and a purpose that will allow me to live for God and become a servant for him alone.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat.
-KG

Silly string..it'll get ya every time.

So yesterday, I decided to go golf for a little while with some of my amazing friends. And of course, being the new-excited to golf-golfer he is, Adam was golfing as well. I was pretty amazed at how awesome he was actually..shout out to you, AD!! But anyways as we were chillen in the car waiting for the other guys to get there to come play, Adam decided to spray me with silly string (got it for my birthday, thanks leah rose..best ever) but it was kinda hot and it was already melted so it stuck to my polo. I was upset, so I sprayed Adam back right in the middle of his shirt..eveeeeerywhere..my bad. It was funny, until it really wouldn't come off then I felt terrible because we were looking all nice and stuff and then..yeahh. So after all this Adam was like "Hey Kate you should blog about this" I was like why? blog about silly strings that's ridiculous..then I was like hmm i'll turn it into something positive..I guess? So here you go Adam, i'm doing yet another thing you asked me to do (like always)
   Even though some people may throw some dirt on your life, or silly string, you have to love them anyways. God doesn't start hating us when we sin against him does he? Of course he doesn't, he forgives us. He redeems us from the terrible things we do daily and still loves us as if we're perfectly angels. I'm not saying God doesn't get disappointed in us because of course he does, what father doesn't when we mess up. But he still loves us. And we as Christians here on Earth should be able to show love in the way our Father shows love to us. When someone sprays melted silly string on our shirt that we can't get off we gotta show them our loving heart anyways and be like ya know what it's okay because i'm called to love you even though this really sucks and everyone is gunna look at me like i'm an idiot (and they will, you have green slim all over you, duh). But I guess all i'm trying to say is love everyone because God loved us enough to give up his son..grasp that..his own blood and flesh son to die for our sins so that we wouldn't be entangled in sin everyday if we gave the small price of devoting our heart and soul to him. But more importantly, because you probably already love the people you like, love your enemies as much as your bestfriend. Then what can they have against you? Nothing because you love, pray and seek for there well-being everyday therefore they're either going to be like you Jesus freak stop praying for me and get away, or like usually, they're going to open their heart and allow you to come in and take the hatred away between the two of you. Hopefully you've learned a little bit of how to love someone despite that green, melted, silly string they spray all over you.

Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat
-KG

So yesterday I was completely oblivious to the fact that Osama Bin Laden had apparently been shot and killed? Whaaaaaaa?? Yeah I was asleep all day due to the fact I was being homeless the night before and didn't feel the need to sleep at all during the night. Bad decision btw, staying awake through church was so unbearable, shew. But anyways, I found it a little weird that as soon as I found out he had been killed, I kinda got offended in a sense and began to pray for his country, our country and anyone else that had anything to do with him. It kills me that we as humans believe that if someone kills someone, they should be in turn killed. It doesn't make sense, two wrongs don't make a right..right? I understand that he has done a terrible thing and that he doesn't deserve to live probably but still, if he doesn't deserve to live, neither do I. He sinned, and I sin everyday, and every sin is the same in God's eyes, so if murderes are to be put to death, then put me to death too. Maybe i'm just an extreme activist of love or something, but instead of being mad at him for what he did, I instead wanted to help him and love him. Obviously I can't just walk up to him and talk to him, for one he can't speak english and two he'd probably kill me considering i'm American, oh and three, nobody could find him so how could I? ha! I mean honestly, he just needs to be loved. If we as Americans sought out to love him and not to kill him, he wouldn't have kept running. No wonder Non-Christians are so afraid of us Christians when we approach them. We don't look to be activist of love in times when people need it, we look to hurt them just as they hurt us. I'm not saying if someone goes and kills your brother to look at them and say it's okay and give them a big hug. I mean our conscience wouldn't let us do that. But we should pray when something that terrible happens, pray and forgive them who sins against you.

Forgiven.

Forgiveness, that's a pretty big word and yes if you know anything about it, you'll know it isn't always easy to give, but for me, the struggle about it isn't the giving part, but the receiving half of it. Before I was ultimately saved by God's amazing grace, I struggled with my sins and hurts, habits and hang ups a lot more then I probably should. Not many people know about what all I've been through, they just know the good parts of my life so if this shocks you a little, I apologize. Up until April of last year, I practically would cry myself to sleep every night, I told myself all the time that I wasn't good enough for the things I had, said that I wasn't beautiful and basically that I didn't deserve life on this Earth. But covering all of the hurt up, you would see a girl who looked as if she had it figured out, looked like the happiest person alive, always smiling and kind to almost everyone that she encountered. Man, I was good at hiding. And I was hiding, everywhere I would go I would be a chameleon, just blending in to the people around me. If I was with my Christians friends, I would act like I was so on fire for God that not even a bucket of water could put me out. When I was around the guys, I would act like one of them always trying to beat them at whatever they were doing, around the party people I would seem like the life of the party trying to show off how much I could take. But around myself, when it was just me, I would beat myself up and down about my actions and how I had about 15 different personalities. But when I was broken and confused, that's when I found the light shining through. When I knew there was no hope in my own self, I found hope in the lord. My life begin to change after I decided to attend a weekend of Chrysalis (awesome btw, if you have the chance..GO!), it really was a life altering experience. I learned that in order to see the light, you can't just hide in the darkness and wait for the sun to start shining, you have to cut open the surface and make cracks in your own life so the light of God can come shining through. But anyways, back to the forgiveness part. I knew that God had forgiven my sins and I knew that he always would if I would just repent. But I couldn't forgive myself. Before I got on the wrong track, I was a Christian but I didn't follow God. I just really felt that I owed him a big one, but what can you do that compares to what he did for us? Not much, unless you're willing to die for your owns sins..but didn't he already do that? So what do you do when you're so down from your own life and you can't get back up because all those sins are still lingering in your head. People always say forgive and forget, but we all know we can't just erase bad things from our mind and become oblivious to them, it's just not possible no matter how hard we try to do so. Up until a few weeks ago when I began reading the book "the irresistible revolution" by shane claiborne (FREAKING AMAZING book, please check it out) I still couldn't find it in my heart to forgive myself. But when I read this book it stuck me that in order to be fixed we must first be broken. Makes perfect sense right? You can't fix something unless something is wrong with it. So, I applied this to my life, which if you didn't know, was pretty broken and in time, I'm slowly healing. On another note, the giving part of forgiveness might be hard for you, I understand that it isn't the easiest thing to go hug someone and say I forgive you when they just slapped you. But throughout the Bible God shows forgiveness for everyone that turns against him, a broad example would be when he says "Forgive them, for they know not of what they do" that scripture is so powerful. Jesus while dying on the cross screaming out, FORGIVE THEM FATHER..they know not what they do..forgive them. If Jesus can forgive the ones that tortured him, beat him and ultimately put him to death until he rose again, I believe we can forgive others when they sin against us. I know that we can't all be little Jesus replicas walking around proclaiming forgiveness every time someone does something wrong, but I believe that if we stop being Christians, yes I said it..stop being Christians, and learn to only follow God and not be like hey I'm a Christian and I forgive you, forgiveness will come much easier to us.

Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat.
KG

I'll never be a heart surgeon..

So I'm sitting in my AP English class listening to the student teacher go on and on about "In Cite Quotions", while trying to cram in all this useless information about the heart because next period I have a big whoppin test over everything that the heart intitles. I'm thinking that maybe my plan of going to bed early and waking up early to study wasn't the best idea considering I woke up at 7:20 and had to rush myself to get to school on time, which I did..success..but anyways what I felt preplexed to blog about today is the amount of goodness I guess I could say, that my lord provides for me. He truely is the ultimate provider in my life. Although i'm literally tripping over this test right now, and sitting here wondering who the smartest person in class is so I can nonchalantly go sit beside them for today, i've prayed and prayed this morning and I know God will provide for me. This test really isn't a big deal to be honest, and there are a lot of more things I could be worrying about, and proabably should be worrying about but it just goes to show that no matter how big, or even how little the problem is, my needs are always met by the one who gave his son for my life. I'm so lucky to know that my Abba Father is always right behind me through everything and that when the devil is trying to tempt me day by day, hour by hour I will NEVER be defeated because my God sits at he right hand throne and is always there. Such a load of the shoulder when I make myself remember this. I am blessed with the best, because he lives, and i'm alive in him.

Life is Rough Waters, be sure to have a stable boat.
KG

Things that make my life expectancy lower.

Pet peeves. That word alone makes me wanna gag someone. I mean get real, who decided that should be the word for something that annoys the daylight out of me? I figured it would be nice to come up with my own list of pet peeves just because there are so many things that I wish I could refrain from for the sake of my own life day by day!

1) Double negatives. I don't know if this annoyance is the outcome of my mother being an English teacher or what, but I absolutely can't stand when someone uses a double negative while speaking. It's not okay to say, "well I ain't never did that." Last time I checked, 2 negatives make a positive so if you're saying that, it looks like you really did do whatever you're talking about (which is probably irrelevant to anyones life anyway).

2)Dirty Nails. Gross, I mean come on dude it takes like five minutes to wash your hands and get all that grum and nastiness out from under your nail. Fix yourself please and thank you. If you're like some big handy-mechanic-man I completely understand, but when you get finished can you not get ahold of some soap for the sake of everyone you come in contact with? The worst is when you go to a restaurant and your waitress/waiter has gross nails, I swear i'd leave if it was to out of hand, I really wouldn't like there fingernail dirt on my plate.

3)Want some cheese with that whine? Okay I get it, your life sucks, but you don't have to express this everytime someone trys to talk to you. Get over yourself forreal, your life can't suck that bad. I have my days where I feel like the world has stopped turning and pin-pointed me out to destroy, yes, but I get over it and move along. I'm not going to sit there and tell you about how terrible my life is because one that makes you want to commit suicide and two the more negative you are, the worse the situation is going to get.

4)Flip-flops/heels. Ladies ladies ladies, you're better. Never leave the house knowing that your shoes sound louder than your voice. Do you know how annoying this can be? You sound like a horse walking around, in case you didn't know. Today, while getting my nails did there was a lady walking in to get hers fixed as well, I don't even remember what the woman looked like because as soon as she walked in the door, I thought it was already derby day and I couldn't help but stare with this awful confused look. Just fix yourself, and wear some safe shoes.

5) Heavy breathers. This is my at most BIGGEST pet peeve ever. Are you dying or something, because you sure do sound like you're having a legit asthma attack, let me go get your inhaler. I don't even wanna talk about this anymore it annoys me so much.

6) Head scratchers. Please STAY AWAY FROM ME. I do not enjoy the sound of you scratching your dry scalp all the time. This is nasty and you need to wash your head, k thanks. But really, get some of that "you can't wear black without the blue" stuff and then maybe you won't be all flakey..ughhhh.

I'm pretty positive that I have about 100 more Pet Peeves but I don't want to keep complaing and be the negative Nancy right now. So i'll shut up.
--btw, i'm babysitting the broski right now and he's been napping for a good 3 hours, not okay. The only thing I can think about it how nasty his diaper will be when he decides to awake from the dead.

Goodnight :)

KG

Today.

I just want to say that I have some pretty radical people in my life. This morning, I woke up late, rushed to get ready, coudn't find something to wear, pulled something from mom's closet..(she was ANGRY), looked like a hot mess all day and I was probably the most negative person alive for  few hours. But in the midst of all my anger, one of my friends sent me a random text that said, "God has called upon me to pray for you today so i've been praying all morning. Love you, smile you're beautiful." Now if that isn't God looking out for his children whom he loves with his whole heart I don't know what is. I mean wow, God knows my heart and pays attention to it so much that he knows when I need a little encouragement and he seeks to help me find a happy place daily. He is amazing! Just thought i'd share!
....btw, it took me literally 20 minutes to type this. Stupid finger splint, go die.

Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat.
KG

Broken, but assured.

   It's funny how in the middle of trying so hard to create a new life, the old one creeps forward and slaps you in the face, forcing you to pay attention to the pain, and throws your attention back to the dark corner of your consciousness. You've left it there to die, but it refuses, and despite your best efforts, and most positive thinking, despite your joyful forward movement, you still hear it over there, and the sound reminds you that you're broken hearted. You're angry. You're embarrassed. 
    Most days, I blame myself. I shouldn't eat that much. I should go for a run more often. I wish i would've been as strong with Christ back then like I am now. Why did I make that stupid decision? I should have another job. I shouldn't laugh as much. Why didn't I trust my own instinct? I should have given more, been more. I should learn to play. Maybe i should grow up a little more. Why didn't i study for that? But in the end, I can't take all that back. In the end, I didn't do those things, I chose a different path, but why? I ask..I won't answer.
    This morning, trying to decide what jewelry to wear, I found my string of pearls that my great grandma gave me. As I sat there and thought about the pieces of my life, and how in the world I ended up sitting in my chair, in my house, in this life I realized that each piece and part (fragile parts as well) made me the kate gosser i am right now. Then, I looked up and the string of pearls were stretched out across my vanity light and I compared my life to those pearls. Just like my broken but assured through Christ life, those pearls are each unique, each born of grit, mystery, and each one individual from another, if you really take the time to look. But how often do we take the time to look and realize the differences in our lives? I'm honestly proud of the person I have become. I'm not proud of my past, but i'm proud of what my past has made my future. It takes something butt ugly to make something absolutely beautiful in my mind. And trust me, I used to not be that glorious. But thanks to God and his NEVER ENDING grace..I am beautiful in him. 
  On another note faith. When something is stabbing you in the back, it's the optimum time to have a little faith. You really can't see the results when you have faith, even with hope shining in your face. You only know the next month or few will require walking on water. So you take off your Chuck Taylors or they'll be ruined and you put on some Crocs or better yet, go at it barefoot. I mean, when you walk on water probably the least of your concerns is getting your feet wet. Peter freaked out when he walked on water because the weather was bad, as if clear skies made it easier to walk those waves. I've been freaking out lately with stress. Which of course, is all the result of this great big hole in my pocket that is incapable of being sewn up. But i'm learning to just breathe, step back and become determined to simplify. God doesn't despise small beginnings. It's not like he's going to be genuinely pissed if you don't fix your issues right then, he understands the concerns of your heart, and as long as you stay faithful that you will be OKAY, he will provide for you. Maybe not right away, but as your faith increases, his grace increases as well.  I challenge you to have a little faith this week, step out of your comfortable box, be faithful and reach out. 
Psalm 84:11
For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows grace, favor and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.


Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat.
KG

Your Grace is Enough.

Your grace is enough. I know I say this phrase at least 60 times a day in my mind, over and over. Your grace is enough, your grace is enough, your grace is ENOUGH. But do I ever believe it, yes I do, but the way I think and the way I act make it seem as if I don't believe something I say constantly. Day by day, I always feel like I need something new, something I don't have, and usually something I don't need. And I go get it to satisfy my needs, but how long does that satisfaction last until I depend on some other new thing? About a day, maybe two. But Hebrews 13:5 says, Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you." So if God is with us always, and if he is enough and probably more then we will ever need, why do I get these crazy needs for something more then his grace? Because the devil is here to "kill, steal, and destroy" and that is all he is here to do, to destroy my knowledge that God is enough. Knowing God is everything, and knowing the devil gets you nowhere. Sometimes it gets extremely hard to follow after the creator of our life, but if we become content with what he gives us, then life in general will become more and more easier to accept the things we do not have, and know that we don't need them. God is working tremendously in so many lives recently, and I just pray that we can all follow the one that gave us a life, and promised us forever in his glorious kingdom. 


For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:16-17


"Life is rough waters, be sure to have a stable boat."
-KG 

You make Oceans from the Rain

I don't know what it is about this morning, but God woke me up bright and early at 6, when normally i'm maybe up at 7. First thing I did when I woke up, was pray. Got in the shower, prayed again. Opened my laptop and Walk by Faith was playing. God is just amazing this morning, every day, every second, actually. I feel like he picks me up off the ground, kicks my butt and keeps me going every single day. I don't deserve his unfailing grace but i'm SO glad he keeps giving it to me. I feel like God is starting to place things in my heart and my life that are bigger than I could ever be, and that's okay with me because I know whatever he's up to, and whatever he puts on my heart, he'll walk me through it step by step. The man upstairs with the ultimate plan is truly amazing and inspiring. I wish and pray that every person on this Earth could experience his wonderful mercy, wouldn't that be awesome, a world that was so in love with God that the devil couldn't even think about coming out of the gates of hell? I'm so thankful to have such an AMAZING heavenly father!

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
Ephesians 2:8 


"Life is Rough Waters, just be sure to have a stable boat."
-KG

Why can't we be like Peter Pan, never grow up?

Me again! So today, I got the opportunity to schedule my senior year classes the way I wanted..yes, senior year. Man, I feel like yesterday I was a Freshmen freaking out because I had braces, I didn't know how to do my hair, and I wore too much black makeup on my eyes. I can't say I miss any of those things, but I do miss knowing I had so much to look forward to. Time flies doesn't it? Thinking back on my high school experience thus far, I can't really complain. I mean, if I could I would go back and change a lot of the choices I made that I never knew would effect me so much, but then again, I always say, "there's beauty in the breakdown". Which means that there is beauty in the most difficult, unpleasant things, involving those stupid decisions. I still have a whole year to make the best decisions, and these will probably effect my long term life more then anything i'm sure. I really can't wait to see myself in 10 years from now, how much more i'll mature, what kind of job i'll have, if i'll have a family, or if i'm even out of college yet. For I guess for now, I need to keep my head up and keep it that way so I can keep bringing in my future positively, with no regrets and definitely no negativity what-so-ever. When I think about it, I ever want to actually grow up, stop being fun at all times, and just be boring like a lot of older people are. I understand that there is a time to be serious and a time to act like a 12 year old, but many adults forgot a long time ago what it felt like to just act like a child and not mind one bit. I'd really love to always be my smiling, crazy outgoing person, even when I do have kids and a career. Why not have fun? I mean if  I've got to grow up and age and what not, i'm most definitely going to have a blast while doing so.

"A grownup is a child with layers on" (some layers thicker than others, obviously.)

Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat.

-KG

How Great Is Our God?

I say this often, but I am blessed. Today, a friend asked me to go serve at a Chrysalis dinner for the boys that were on the walk this weekend. As I served, I was reminded of my Chrysalis experience which was AMAZING!! (If you haven't been, go..i'll sponsor you!!) Anyways, just seeing some guys that I know personally on fire for the Lord, rekindled my heart and made me more on fire for God. I mean what isn't amazing about our lord? I can't think of one single thing. The songs of worship, singing, dancing, smiling, laughing, and just having a great time with those who love the Lord as I do, warmed my heart and made me realize that he is soooo worthy of mine, and everyone else's praise! He is so worthy. I know that sometimes I slip, and sometimes I trip, but the Lord my God will never..NEVER let me completely fall. He is so forgiving it's almost ridiculous. One day, you could curse his name back and forth and the next decide you're wrong and he would take you back into his arms like you've never done a thing wrong. I love this about my Lord, because nobody else can ever forgive the way he does. 
From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same, THE LORD'S NAME IS TO BE PRAISED!
Psalm 113:3

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

I am blessed beyond belief.

Okay so yes, today was Valentines Day and I can't lie, I had a pretty awesome day. I mean besides the 10 million hour show choir practice (don't get me wrong, i LOVE show!) but I could've had a lovely date instead! But enough with that, things are finally falling back in place again, like they should. I admit, there for a few weeks I had an obvious stupid streak but who doesn't sometimes? All the stupidity made me realize what really makes me happy in the long run and not just at the moment. Hard to understand, I know. But i'm happy again. I'm just glad that I'm not lying to myself about what makes me happy anymore and actually following what I should do. It also puts a smile on my face that some people never give up on me. I mean what gets better then that? You mess up time after time, and still they're right there with there hand still reaching out to you. If that isn't a sign that there is a wonderful God about then I don't know what is. Man i'm lucky. Often times I don't grasp how lucky and truly blessed I am, but I am so blessed it would take days to count my blessings. I dunno, I'm just glad that there is someone who knows my one million flaws, and sees one priceless thing about me and loves me for it.

Love is easy-going, love is compassionate and thoughtful. It has no lust or rivalry, it does not brag to everyone around. it is not cocky and kept to itself. Love isn't cheating others, it's not always "me first" , it's always peaceful, hardly ever angered, it does not think of the past but looks to the future. Love is happy always and is never spelled backwards "evol (evil)" and it never lies, not even a white lie. It always protects the other, always trusts, has a hopeful mind, always keeps moving forward. Love NEVER gives up, but stays forever.

"Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat"

-KG

I am the ultimate under-analyzer of decisions.

I hate realizing I made a mistake weeks after it happened. For some odd reason I don't analyze what will happen in the long run when I make a decision. Sometimes I just don't understand why I do the stupid things I do. I like to think my mistakes can be fixed and everything will be just fine, but I just have this strange feeling I can't make this one up. I won't tell you what i'm talking about, because if you know me..you know exactly what i'm talking about. But you may not know that I regret it, because I keep it all inside. And honestly, that's getting hard to do. I just hope soon, my punishment for my stupid decision will be relieved..please.

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Ramble ramble.

Sometimes, no matter how much it hurts, you have to give up. You have to be true to yourself every once in awhile and you have to realize what is best for you and your life. I know giving up isn't easy, especially for someone as stubborn as myself. But when the world looks at giving up and says that you should never do it, sometimes it's best that you do, if even only for a little while. It's such a relief..sometimes that is. And other times it stinks. I'll admit, I hate the feeling after giving up. You feel like you've lost some pride or a piece of you. But in all reality you haven't, if you do give up, you must have a pretty good reason. Most the time you don't realize it, but in this particular situation, I gave up to move on. Because being stuck on something that might never be possible is nearly impossible and way ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder why I think certain things are so great, when they really aren't at all? I find one awesome thing about something/someone and I run with it, then everything portraying to that thing becomes amazing..when it isn't at all. I'm just rambling now, I've got a lot on my mind if you couldn't tell. Another thing, Valentines Day is coming up, and while in middle school I used to be so infatuated with the holiday, now it makes me want to lock myself in a closet and gag myself to death, brutal right? Trust me..I know. But I'm serious. I don't hate any day more than I hate Valentines Day. Like is it only for those that are so in love that they have to have an actual day for it, and the ones who are bitter about love (me me me!) get stuck gagging themselves all day? All I'm saying is that, if and when I actually fall in love, everyday will be Valentines Day. Because I'm pretty sure if you're really in love you don't need one day in the year to make it know, but 365 days to make it known in a year..am I right? Well. I'm done with the rambling, I hope you're fantastic, and try not to gag to death this Monday, like I might!

"Life is rough waters, make sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Proverbs 17:17

You know what the greatest feeling is? Knowing that there is someone in your life that despite all your terrible flaws, that still loves the life outta you. I've experienced this first hand this week. Sometimes, like I've said life will throw you some curve balls. But when you grow up and learn to get over that speed bump or recover from the curve ball that is when your character is really defined. This week hasn't been the easiest. But now that my challenges and all the petty drama is over, I know who I am and who I can count on. Your best friend isn't the one that is always by your side, but the one who will be by your side when you need it most, and actually get upset with you when you do something out of your character because they know that you're so much better then that wrong decision you made and they aren't afraid to tell you they are upset. I love the moments when you realize something spectacular in your life, and this afternoon I've realized that I have a true friend that still loves me even though I have no idea how she could. Just inspiring I guess. I love my Hailey Ray.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat."
-KG

Prayer for the day.

God, lead us in your ways. Grant us the strength to serve you all day, everyday. Put purpose in our days and give us understanding, for we do not always understand this life we're called to live. Make us kind so that we may judge all people with our heart and not our mind. Teach us to be patient in everything that we do. Give us content to trust your wisdom and to follow after you. Lord, sustain us day by day and help and guide us every step of the way. Amen.


Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage. Be strong!
1 Corinthians 16:13


-KG

Stand your ground.

God is love. If that isn't enough to get you through a lifetime, then I don't think you'll last very long. Lately, I felt like I was almost getting distant with my love affair with my Lord, Jesus Christ until I realized that one day, he might be the only thing I have left. It's very easy to get distracted by the things this crazy world offers and throws at you day to day. But I've learned that you just have to know when to stand your solid ground and stand up and realize that you live for him and not for the things you can posses. Being the always happy person I am I've also realized that sometimes, people are going to make you mad and try to drag you down to where they are, and once again, you have to stand your solid ground, or you might as well go step in sinking sand because when someone is trying to get you down, it doesn't take much for someone to break down. But is it really worth it? Is the getting angry, the getting sad, and the getting upset really worth the sinking that it leads you to? Of course it isn't, so i'm just here to say "Stand your ground, even when the world is bringing you down."




Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2




"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Dude, I love music.

I love how music has one of the at most impacts on my life and how just one song can put me in the greatest mood ever...including this song :)


"Apathetic Way To Be"

Yeah, I'm not angry
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

The things that I take on
I soon shrug off
'cause I know no one
Will ever be content
With the way things are
Or with what they've got
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I must admit;
All the words you spoke, I hated
Cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
Enough to break a sweat over a dying race
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced

Yeah, I'm not angry,
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

Yeah, bein' apathetic's a pathetic way to be
(I don't care)
What matters to you does not matter to me
('cause I don't care)

So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care
But it's so hard to see the reality
That the end will be the end of things
And our hearts are all we get to bring
So let's go ahead and make them worth something

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me 

Breathe, and just smile.

Life throws a lot of curve balls, sometimes you have the ability to catch them with flying colors, sometimes you just watch them go by and do nothing about it, but mostly, you let them hit you straight in the face. Why I let them hit me in the face? I have not one idea. But i do know that the wonderful bruise they leave you with is one of the most glorious things life can bring to you. Okay, obviously i'm not talking about an actual ball smacking you in the face, but what i'm saying is that life isn't just a rose garden. Some days are a lot harder than others, and sometimes we have many challenges to face. And that bruise can either be a punishment, a lesson learned, or a regret taken from a situation. But regardless of the situation, good or absolutely terrible, we usually don't walk away from it without learning something good, or something about ourself from it. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, although we don't always understand the reason, there is always one if you look hard enough. I've learned that regardless of the day you're having, if you just force a smile on your face, you automatically are in a better mood. I'm usually one that never stops smiling, but trust me, i'm not always happy, i'm pretty good at acting as if I am though. Also, an instant day maker is when your smile brings joy to someone else. I always remember that no matter how bad my day is going, someone else has it way worse than I do and I count my blessings. If counting your blessings can't make you smile, honestly, I don't know what could. I guess what i'm trying to get at is that it's okay to breathe, and just smile every once in a while. Even if you're morally convinced that your life sucks, and amounts to nothing, I promise you that it does and that one day, you'll find your purpose in life. Because that's what God promises right? He has a plan for everyone, no matter who you are, and no matter what you do.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"


Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat
-KG

But who prays for Satan?

So I started this post about how much I hate people, but then I realized that I'm not called to hate anyone. Honestly, that might be something I struggle with the most is loving my enemies, but you have to do it. No matter how hard or challenging it may seem, it can be done. 


"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?"


I read this quote a few months back and ever since, it's been stuck in my mind, compelling me to actually pray for the devil. But while thinking about this quote that Mark Twain created, it brought me to thinking about actually praying for the ones that we hate, and the ones that we say are "Satan" at times. And obviously, they're the ones that need it more than the ones we love do. When we decide to actually hate someone, we usually have a pretty good reason to decide our hatred. And if we struggle with that reason, if it bothers us, then why aren't we praying about it? Another thing I thought about is why it is that as soon as something tragic happens to us, something we never wanted to happen actually occurs, we go straight to our phone or straight to our friend and let them in on the latest news, our bad news. Do we actually think that they can do something about it, take the pain away, and make it all better? They aren't God, so why aren't we going to the man that changed the world, why aren't we telling him, (of course he already knows) and why aren't we praying for guidance? I hope you learn to pray for the ones that make your life miserable, because I sure know that I will. 


Life is Rough Waters, just be sure you have a stable boat.
-KG