Why can't we be like Peter Pan, never grow up?

Me again! So today, I got the opportunity to schedule my senior year classes the way I wanted..yes, senior year. Man, I feel like yesterday I was a Freshmen freaking out because I had braces, I didn't know how to do my hair, and I wore too much black makeup on my eyes. I can't say I miss any of those things, but I do miss knowing I had so much to look forward to. Time flies doesn't it? Thinking back on my high school experience thus far, I can't really complain. I mean, if I could I would go back and change a lot of the choices I made that I never knew would effect me so much, but then again, I always say, "there's beauty in the breakdown". Which means that there is beauty in the most difficult, unpleasant things, involving those stupid decisions. I still have a whole year to make the best decisions, and these will probably effect my long term life more then anything i'm sure. I really can't wait to see myself in 10 years from now, how much more i'll mature, what kind of job i'll have, if i'll have a family, or if i'm even out of college yet. For I guess for now, I need to keep my head up and keep it that way so I can keep bringing in my future positively, with no regrets and definitely no negativity what-so-ever. When I think about it, I ever want to actually grow up, stop being fun at all times, and just be boring like a lot of older people are. I understand that there is a time to be serious and a time to act like a 12 year old, but many adults forgot a long time ago what it felt like to just act like a child and not mind one bit. I'd really love to always be my smiling, crazy outgoing person, even when I do have kids and a career. Why not have fun? I mean if  I've got to grow up and age and what not, i'm most definitely going to have a blast while doing so.

"A grownup is a child with layers on" (some layers thicker than others, obviously.)

Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat.

-KG

How Great Is Our God?

I say this often, but I am blessed. Today, a friend asked me to go serve at a Chrysalis dinner for the boys that were on the walk this weekend. As I served, I was reminded of my Chrysalis experience which was AMAZING!! (If you haven't been, go..i'll sponsor you!!) Anyways, just seeing some guys that I know personally on fire for the Lord, rekindled my heart and made me more on fire for God. I mean what isn't amazing about our lord? I can't think of one single thing. The songs of worship, singing, dancing, smiling, laughing, and just having a great time with those who love the Lord as I do, warmed my heart and made me realize that he is soooo worthy of mine, and everyone else's praise! He is so worthy. I know that sometimes I slip, and sometimes I trip, but the Lord my God will never..NEVER let me completely fall. He is so forgiving it's almost ridiculous. One day, you could curse his name back and forth and the next decide you're wrong and he would take you back into his arms like you've never done a thing wrong. I love this about my Lord, because nobody else can ever forgive the way he does. 
From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same, THE LORD'S NAME IS TO BE PRAISED!
Psalm 113:3

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

I am blessed beyond belief.

Okay so yes, today was Valentines Day and I can't lie, I had a pretty awesome day. I mean besides the 10 million hour show choir practice (don't get me wrong, i LOVE show!) but I could've had a lovely date instead! But enough with that, things are finally falling back in place again, like they should. I admit, there for a few weeks I had an obvious stupid streak but who doesn't sometimes? All the stupidity made me realize what really makes me happy in the long run and not just at the moment. Hard to understand, I know. But i'm happy again. I'm just glad that I'm not lying to myself about what makes me happy anymore and actually following what I should do. It also puts a smile on my face that some people never give up on me. I mean what gets better then that? You mess up time after time, and still they're right there with there hand still reaching out to you. If that isn't a sign that there is a wonderful God about then I don't know what is. Man i'm lucky. Often times I don't grasp how lucky and truly blessed I am, but I am so blessed it would take days to count my blessings. I dunno, I'm just glad that there is someone who knows my one million flaws, and sees one priceless thing about me and loves me for it.

Love is easy-going, love is compassionate and thoughtful. It has no lust or rivalry, it does not brag to everyone around. it is not cocky and kept to itself. Love isn't cheating others, it's not always "me first" , it's always peaceful, hardly ever angered, it does not think of the past but looks to the future. Love is happy always and is never spelled backwards "evol (evil)" and it never lies, not even a white lie. It always protects the other, always trusts, has a hopeful mind, always keeps moving forward. Love NEVER gives up, but stays forever.

"Life is rough waters, just be sure to have a stable boat"

-KG

I am the ultimate under-analyzer of decisions.

I hate realizing I made a mistake weeks after it happened. For some odd reason I don't analyze what will happen in the long run when I make a decision. Sometimes I just don't understand why I do the stupid things I do. I like to think my mistakes can be fixed and everything will be just fine, but I just have this strange feeling I can't make this one up. I won't tell you what i'm talking about, because if you know me..you know exactly what i'm talking about. But you may not know that I regret it, because I keep it all inside. And honestly, that's getting hard to do. I just hope soon, my punishment for my stupid decision will be relieved..please.

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Ramble ramble.

Sometimes, no matter how much it hurts, you have to give up. You have to be true to yourself every once in awhile and you have to realize what is best for you and your life. I know giving up isn't easy, especially for someone as stubborn as myself. But when the world looks at giving up and says that you should never do it, sometimes it's best that you do, if even only for a little while. It's such a relief..sometimes that is. And other times it stinks. I'll admit, I hate the feeling after giving up. You feel like you've lost some pride or a piece of you. But in all reality you haven't, if you do give up, you must have a pretty good reason. Most the time you don't realize it, but in this particular situation, I gave up to move on. Because being stuck on something that might never be possible is nearly impossible and way ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder why I think certain things are so great, when they really aren't at all? I find one awesome thing about something/someone and I run with it, then everything portraying to that thing becomes amazing..when it isn't at all. I'm just rambling now, I've got a lot on my mind if you couldn't tell. Another thing, Valentines Day is coming up, and while in middle school I used to be so infatuated with the holiday, now it makes me want to lock myself in a closet and gag myself to death, brutal right? Trust me..I know. But I'm serious. I don't hate any day more than I hate Valentines Day. Like is it only for those that are so in love that they have to have an actual day for it, and the ones who are bitter about love (me me me!) get stuck gagging themselves all day? All I'm saying is that, if and when I actually fall in love, everyday will be Valentines Day. Because I'm pretty sure if you're really in love you don't need one day in the year to make it know, but 365 days to make it known in a year..am I right? Well. I'm done with the rambling, I hope you're fantastic, and try not to gag to death this Monday, like I might!

"Life is rough waters, make sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Proverbs 17:17

You know what the greatest feeling is? Knowing that there is someone in your life that despite all your terrible flaws, that still loves the life outta you. I've experienced this first hand this week. Sometimes, like I've said life will throw you some curve balls. But when you grow up and learn to get over that speed bump or recover from the curve ball that is when your character is really defined. This week hasn't been the easiest. But now that my challenges and all the petty drama is over, I know who I am and who I can count on. Your best friend isn't the one that is always by your side, but the one who will be by your side when you need it most, and actually get upset with you when you do something out of your character because they know that you're so much better then that wrong decision you made and they aren't afraid to tell you they are upset. I love the moments when you realize something spectacular in your life, and this afternoon I've realized that I have a true friend that still loves me even though I have no idea how she could. Just inspiring I guess. I love my Hailey Ray.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat."
-KG

Prayer for the day.

God, lead us in your ways. Grant us the strength to serve you all day, everyday. Put purpose in our days and give us understanding, for we do not always understand this life we're called to live. Make us kind so that we may judge all people with our heart and not our mind. Teach us to be patient in everything that we do. Give us content to trust your wisdom and to follow after you. Lord, sustain us day by day and help and guide us every step of the way. Amen.


Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage. Be strong!
1 Corinthians 16:13


-KG

Stand your ground.

God is love. If that isn't enough to get you through a lifetime, then I don't think you'll last very long. Lately, I felt like I was almost getting distant with my love affair with my Lord, Jesus Christ until I realized that one day, he might be the only thing I have left. It's very easy to get distracted by the things this crazy world offers and throws at you day to day. But I've learned that you just have to know when to stand your solid ground and stand up and realize that you live for him and not for the things you can posses. Being the always happy person I am I've also realized that sometimes, people are going to make you mad and try to drag you down to where they are, and once again, you have to stand your solid ground, or you might as well go step in sinking sand because when someone is trying to get you down, it doesn't take much for someone to break down. But is it really worth it? Is the getting angry, the getting sad, and the getting upset really worth the sinking that it leads you to? Of course it isn't, so i'm just here to say "Stand your ground, even when the world is bringing you down."




Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2




"Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat"
-KG

Dude, I love music.

I love how music has one of the at most impacts on my life and how just one song can put me in the greatest mood ever...including this song :)


"Apathetic Way To Be"

Yeah, I'm not angry
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

The things that I take on
I soon shrug off
'cause I know no one
Will ever be content
With the way things are
Or with what they've got
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I must admit;
All the words you spoke, I hated
Cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
Enough to break a sweat over a dying race
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced

Yeah, I'm not angry,
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

Yeah, bein' apathetic's a pathetic way to be
(I don't care)
What matters to you does not matter to me
('cause I don't care)

So take a wild guess
It's like I just couldn't care less
If all the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like it's a life or death affair
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care
But it's so hard to see the reality
That the end will be the end of things
And our hearts are all we get to bring
So let's go ahead and make them worth something

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me 

Breathe, and just smile.

Life throws a lot of curve balls, sometimes you have the ability to catch them with flying colors, sometimes you just watch them go by and do nothing about it, but mostly, you let them hit you straight in the face. Why I let them hit me in the face? I have not one idea. But i do know that the wonderful bruise they leave you with is one of the most glorious things life can bring to you. Okay, obviously i'm not talking about an actual ball smacking you in the face, but what i'm saying is that life isn't just a rose garden. Some days are a lot harder than others, and sometimes we have many challenges to face. And that bruise can either be a punishment, a lesson learned, or a regret taken from a situation. But regardless of the situation, good or absolutely terrible, we usually don't walk away from it without learning something good, or something about ourself from it. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, although we don't always understand the reason, there is always one if you look hard enough. I've learned that regardless of the day you're having, if you just force a smile on your face, you automatically are in a better mood. I'm usually one that never stops smiling, but trust me, i'm not always happy, i'm pretty good at acting as if I am though. Also, an instant day maker is when your smile brings joy to someone else. I always remember that no matter how bad my day is going, someone else has it way worse than I do and I count my blessings. If counting your blessings can't make you smile, honestly, I don't know what could. I guess what i'm trying to get at is that it's okay to breathe, and just smile every once in a while. Even if you're morally convinced that your life sucks, and amounts to nothing, I promise you that it does and that one day, you'll find your purpose in life. Because that's what God promises right? He has a plan for everyone, no matter who you are, and no matter what you do.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"


Life is rough waters, just be sure you have a stable boat
-KG

But who prays for Satan?

So I started this post about how much I hate people, but then I realized that I'm not called to hate anyone. Honestly, that might be something I struggle with the most is loving my enemies, but you have to do it. No matter how hard or challenging it may seem, it can be done. 


"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?"


I read this quote a few months back and ever since, it's been stuck in my mind, compelling me to actually pray for the devil. But while thinking about this quote that Mark Twain created, it brought me to thinking about actually praying for the ones that we hate, and the ones that we say are "Satan" at times. And obviously, they're the ones that need it more than the ones we love do. When we decide to actually hate someone, we usually have a pretty good reason to decide our hatred. And if we struggle with that reason, if it bothers us, then why aren't we praying about it? Another thing I thought about is why it is that as soon as something tragic happens to us, something we never wanted to happen actually occurs, we go straight to our phone or straight to our friend and let them in on the latest news, our bad news. Do we actually think that they can do something about it, take the pain away, and make it all better? They aren't God, so why aren't we going to the man that changed the world, why aren't we telling him, (of course he already knows) and why aren't we praying for guidance? I hope you learn to pray for the ones that make your life miserable, because I sure know that I will. 


Life is Rough Waters, just be sure you have a stable boat.
-KG